“Being submissive isn’t determined by how you surrender, it’s quite simply that you do surrender” Thank you, Lady Julia

My personal life commitments have made it impossible to post daily, so this is a conflated report of the three days of imagining the type of lady who woud dominate me.

After reading the instructions and going through my relaxation and focussing, I was expecting to greet a Lady who looked something like Mama Cass, so it was something of a shock when a very clear and vivid image appeared before me of Linda Hunt. She is one of my favorite actors, from “The Year of Living Dangerously” up to her latest role as the chief on “NCIS Los Angeles.” Her persona is acutely intelligent and intuitive about the emotional states of her team. She brooks no nonsense and quickly punctures my intellectual snobbery. Her quiet, sharply focused ways of getting me to stay on task are a welcome rein on my disorganized romantic mind. Pleasing her just feels so right and so good. Her approval is worth more to me than I can calculate.

On the second day of this phase, it hit me like a slap on the back of the head that Linda Hunt bears a striking physical resemblance to my wife! More on this later

This was by miles hardest of these tasks. I could get into trance well enough, but coming up with anything new or what I hadn’t thought before was real chore. I think I got one or two things to the list that I hadn’t thought before and I might hope I was better at. Also I’m slightly amused how many same things are on the list that are also on my list for the domme and some that aren’t could be there too
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List:

brisk at performing dommes tasks, can do attitude etc.
open / curious to new thing willing to try at least once also in discussing things
intelligent helps with everything conversations etc.
emphatic for feeling dommes mood and when she is having off day.
honest / trustworthy the domme can trust me to keep my word and tell things truthfully.
gentle / sweet not everything is kink etc.
sense of humor helps a lot, get her to laugh, supposed to be fun not too serious.
imagination coming up with new ways to please.
And I don’t know if this personality trait but wanting / liking to please her.

So that is what I came up with. Could try that again and try to think from different angle. Hmm did I interpret this task wrongly? I basically thought for personality traits she would hopefully like.

–Manet

My avatar domme is a real tease. I guess I am attracted to that. She knows how to push my buttons. Which I find extremely flattering. To take the time to learn where my buttons are and how to push them implies she likes me. She is very sensual. Not just her looks. Her voice, her demeanor, the way she moves, the way she talks. A complete package. The other thing I like is that she is as much a guide as she is a domme.

What she sees in me is hard to say. A woman like that could have any man. Why settle on me. But I guess she likes controlling me. She likes how I try to please her.

I have some other items but I don’t want to post them here.

This is a marvelous experience. I am learning so much about myself.

Mike

Dear Lady Julia,

Wow…This was more challenging than I thought it would be. Before I started today, I really had to fight my urge to over think things. It’s difficult because what would attract someone to me would be a very subjective thing. But that’s the “over thinking” part of my brain talking.

I’ve been finding the best way to focus on a fantasy, is not to focus at all, or at least not too much. Headphones on, I went down and just let my mind drift. What happened was I ended up with a physical picture more than the answers to specific questions, however I did get bits and pieces, so here they are:

The first thing that my head went to was that she noticed that we had a lot of wishes, desires, and even “kinks” in common. That I was easy to talk to. My fantasy included my own body not having some of the physical problems I have in reality. (In other words, I was 20 years younger.) She would be drawn to me by my openness and honesty. My ability to speak my mind without being rude. Possibly my sense of humor. She might find my willingness to try new things and ideas sexy or even an expectation.

She, being a dominant, would expect from me many of the things listed above. The ability to totally trust her and surrender to her. My physical appearance never entered into the experience. Possibly, because that’s how I feel about other people. It may sound cliche, but for me beauty is truly internal, and she would look at people the same way. That’s also what would have drawn us to each other. She might be amused at the kinkier side of me, but in a good way. She wouldn’t be a “yeller” just as I’m not. If I want to be yelled at, I could just talk to my ex wife.

I told you these were bits and pieces. I guess, for me, it’s difficult to fantasize about why a person feels the way they do about me. It does reveal a lot about how I see myself.

I nodded of while trancing and thinking about the domme, so I hope these things I wrote up after waking are from my subconscious mind. I think that at least some of them are, as I can’t remember thinking them before. My domme is far from bitchy she is gentle but strong. She doesn’t need to use strength. You just know you don’t mess with this lady, and if you do, she will return you into line. She is curious, intelligent, imaginative, playful and has wicked sense of humor but her sense of fair play and trustworthiness temper the more wild games she comes up with so she respects my limits and I can completely trust her. When she playfully changes rules or makes you fail the “punishment” is playful too. Of course she is very confident and sensual too. She likes men with all our curiosities. =)

So here’s the personality I imagine: it’s always a bit more complex than say just “soft” vs. “bitchy.” I imagined her as someone kind, intelligent and good humored, but with a sort of dominant switch. She’s a real person with a three dimensional personality, but there’s that moment when she decides she wants to be hypnotic, to be dominant and when she makes that decision she’s supremely confident and becomes quite serious — not angry or mean, but there’s no doubt that she’s taking charge and it’s going to happen… period.

For some reason I imagine her with a soft drawl too. Hmmm.

Completed the assignment. Here are the traits I came up with.

Kind but can be playfully bitchy.
Likes to teach.
Confident.
Demanding at times (insistent).
Intelligent.
Multi-faceted.
Knows what she wants.
Very sensual.
Musically gifted. For some odd reason I kept hearing musing while I was trancing. Any ideas how that happened. ;-)

Dear Lady Julia,

For me, I would call this phase “Enigmatic Lady” (But then that’s just me)

When I read your instructions, was reminded of something that Mike said in one of his posts. “I should learn by now to expect the unexpected from you.”

Sometimes I have a bad habit of over thinking or analyzing things. I tried not to do that for this as best I could. With no pre-conceived ideas, as I relaxed and let go, I focused on only the specific instructions and whatever my brain came up with, would be the answer.

My mind drifted over dozens of styles and personality traits of this beautiful dominating Lady of my fantasies. She ended up being this mysterious mixture of opposites. She would be romantic and sensuous, and yet firm and teaching minded. She knew when to be serious, yet had a great sense of humor. I also felt an amazing sense of trust for her and from her. She was sure of herself, and yet aware of my limits and feelings. Most of all, there was a deep sense of mysteriousness that surrounded her.

All that may me a bit too much information, but that’s what my brain came up with.